


phobia

by vounoura



Series: knife wife and staff loser [3]
Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: Angst, F/F, Nightmares, ahahahaha if u thought I wasn't going to corrupt my fluff u are completely and utterly wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 11:56:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12457266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vounoura/pseuds/vounoura
Summary: Sometimes late nights hold things you’d rather forget.





	phobia

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [euphoria](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12455792). Go read that first.

It, as always, begins with a specific movement. A habit, if you will.

There’s always a specific twitch Nirasa does when she sleeps; a sudden, violent jerk of her shoulders, not unlike that of a startled or nervous cat. Naryu is so acclimatized to it, has felt that jolt in her shoulders so many times that when she feels the twitch, feels the sudden shock of movement against her, she wakes from her dreamless sleep almost immediately.

She wakes, because she knows from experience that the movement has never meant good news.

So when Nirasa twitches like so against her, curled tightly into her chest as she is, Naryu wakes. It doesn’t take much for Naryu to wake, in all honesty - she’s never particularly been a heavy sleeper, and besides that she’s used to, has been trained into the soldier’s way of napping when there’s a spare moment. She will wake at any unfamiliar stimulus, which has both saved her life many times and has also been a frequent source of frustration.

But she’s concerned, not just because of the twitch. She’s concerned because she wakes, and she can see in the dim light filtered through the slightly-open balcony door, feel in the slight shudder of her shoulders, that Nirasa is crying in her sleep.

(She could be crying about any number of things, in all honesty; Coldharbour, Shadowfen, the Rift, that one time her cousin stole and ate all of her candied insects as a child. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter, because in the end she suffers immensely for it.)

This is…an unfortunately common occurrence. If her lover isn’t crying then she is screaming, if she even sleeps at all. No amount of pre-slumber comfort, care, potion, or talk has ever helped her - she fears her own rest, fears the fact that she will most likely be forced to relive what she has tried to forget.

Naryu doesn’t blame her, has suffered the same affliction herself at points. The pain, she’s learned, never really goes away.

(She is _heavily_ considering dragging the woman to Sadrith Mora and asking the Telvanni for help by this point - she would even do it without a single complaint or snide comment. Naryu cares for her, more than she’ll ever know, and she cares enough to say _you cannot go on like this_.

What she fears the most, however, is the chilling possibility that even the Telvanni mages will not be able to help her.)

The first step, the first solution she always tries is to wrap herself as close as she dares around her - it rarely works, but on occasion the embrace loosens the tightness in her shoulders, reduces the shaking in her hands and makes her drift off to better peace.

Most other times, like tonight, all that does is intensify the trembling, makes her feel cornered. No go, and if that happens Naryu knows to let go immediately and try something else.

So instead she tangles her fingers in Nirasa’s hair, lets the smooth strands fall through her hands in a way that, in her waking hours, usually relaxes her. Her mouth whispers words that seem to have no meaning, only existing to impart some universally understood form of comfort.

Some of the shaking lessens, but she is still stiff - she still whimpers in what is either pain or fear, still fights against her hold slightly, still begs and pleads in a tiny breath. Naryu was expecting as much; it’s never this easy.

(When the nightmare grips her this tightly, it’s best to wake her.

But that comes with its own caveats, its own difficulties. Nirasa does not sleep easy at night, and unfortunately she does not wake easily either.)

But Naryu Virian is not a woman who is easily phased by hardship; she’s seen it all before, dealt with this too many times to not be used to the choreography by now. She knows how Nirasa’s instincts work when she is half-asleep, when she thinks she has to fight for her life, knows how to deal with it.

So when she shakes the other woman’s shoulder firmly, calling her name, she knows to pin her body to the bed with her own, to lock her arms above her head when she tries to hit. Her mouth whispers reassurances but Nirasa isn’t listening, isn’t hearing anything past her panic, and before her lips can mutter a personally made curse Naryu covers them with her own.

She struggles, fights, tries to pull away and push her assailant off, but it only takes a few moments before the cloud clears from behind her eyes. With only a moment’s notice she is responding to Naryu’s kiss, desperately seeking some form of reassuring physical contact.

 _“You are real, you are here,”_ she whispers, and the other woman sobs pitifully into the night.


End file.
